How to Be a Better RC Car Racer by Blaming Everything on the Marshals

In the thrilling world of RC car racing, every driver dreams of victory, fame, and that perfect race where everything goes smoothly. But when things inevitably go wrong (and they will), one of the most time-honored traditions is not to look inward - oh no - but instead to shift the blame firmly onto the shoulders of the track marshals.

Let’s face it: marshals are the perfect scapegoats. They’re right there on the track, wearing bright vests, and their job is to help you when you crash. That means if you don’t win, surely it was because they didn’t flip your car fast enough, right? Rule number one for mastering this art: always watch where the nearest marshal is and memorize their face. This way, when you need to complain after the race, you can confidently say, “It was the guy near corner three who cost me the podium!”

Of course, no great excuse works without drama. Practice your frustrated body language, the raised hands, the wide-eyed stares, maybe even the slow shake of the head. When your car tips over and the marshal is busy helping another racer, make sure to point out loudly, “I would have recovered if only the marshal was paying attention!” Bonus points if you complain during the race and again after.

Another pro move: blame the marshals for anticipating crashes badly. Even if you drove headfirst into a wall, clearly the marshal should have seen it coming and sprinted over before it even happened. Why weren’t they there? Why weren’t they psychic? The more confidently you deliver this argument, the more you’ll convince yourself (if not anyone else) that your loss wasn’t your fault.

Lastly, remember: every bad lap, every clipped corner, and every fumbled pass can be wrapped up in a beautiful package of “the marshal was in the way” or “they distracted me.” Sure, it might not fix your driving skills, but blaming the marshals is a time-honored racer’s tradition and by mastering it, you’ll fit right into the world of passionate RC drivers everywhere.

After all, it’s never the driver.